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Cameron muffin99 @ninjamuffin99

Age 21


Middle School Dropout

Kitchener, Canada

Joined on 10/2/15

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February Funkin'

Posted by ninjamuffin99 - February 13th, 2021

AYO, been a smidge since last newspost, figured I’d write up another thing, since a LOT has changed.

January was probably one of the most stressful months of my life, and when I say stressful I moreso mean very overwhelming. There’s a few reasons for that, which are all sorta connected but also separated. Main thing is of course, Friday Night Funkin. And that’s divided into a few different things. Most obvious being that it was a lot of work through January, as we were pushing the Christmas update that slipped past Christmas, but then IMMEDIATELY after that, we were trying to get out an update for Pixel Day, so with all of that it ended up being about close to a full month of work on my mind. Maybe that’s not so bad, but also there’s something about the fact that the game just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger, so that was weighing on me in a weird way, not exactly negative way, just weird. And then in January I also got CANCELLED. I do have a lot more thoughts about that situation, but for now I’ll say it did NOT help productivity or my mental state having to go through that lolol.

And then to top it all off, I was going through a lot of different things in my personal life. Hard to explain, but the situation was pretty dire, to the point where if anything good would happen, whether it the crew getting notoriety, or something cool happening, or some interaction, it all sorta felt sucked away whenever this personal thing came into my mind. So even with any and all success the game may have been having, it was VERY hard to enjoy it most of the time, at least through January. 

I remember in Indie Game The Movie, one of the things that Edmund and Tommy quote to each other is “the hardest part of success is finding people who can be happy for you”, and it was partly that situation I think. At the beginning of January in my other post I mentioned how it was a bit hard for me to find myself talking to my friends or anyone about Friday Night Funkin’, where it felt like that’s all I talk about and feels like I’m only talking about my problems and all that. I could share things that made me feel good about myself with a few of my friends, which is fine and all that, but as soon as there’s even just a single person who you WANT to share something with, but you can’t because it feels like you’re bragging, or feels like you’ve been disconnected from them and you’re only talking to them to talk about yourself, or you feel like it’s been the only thing that you’ve been talking to them about, then once you DON’T have that, it’s as if you don’t even have the success at all. It's hard to describe exactly how much it really weighed on me through January. There were moments where I would wake up and have it on my mind, and then obsess over it for the rest of the day. Or I would see one little thing and then it would derail my whole day of being productive. Stuff like that where it genuinely impacted my life and mental state.

I think since then I’ve found myself to appreciate the homies I got and knowing that even if I don’t see it all personally, I do think that there’s a lot of people happy for me and my success, whether I interact and talk with them directly about it to see them happy. I do remember what it was like when I had NO friends, no one to talk to about anything. At this point in time I’m very grateful that I have a very strong support structure of people around me who keep it real. Right now I’m still in a bit of a state where I feel guilty whenever Friday Night Funkin’ comes up in any conversation I have, and maybe I DO talk about it too much. But it’s kinda hard to NOT talk about it. Whenever I separate myself from it all, I do see that I genuinely do love working on it and just in general I think it’s an awesome as fuk game. And cool shit is happenin because I’m a cool ass bitch, basically what the whole situation boils down to. 



Comments (68)

Hang in there man. I know there's been a lot going on with your life that's made it rough but you've always been cool. I wish more people knew more about who you are, before FNF even. You've been generous donating prizes to my contests in the past, you're a funny and chill guy, but sometimes you've gotten yourself into some trouble with statements you've spouted for fun, and I sometimes get concerned.

Sometimes I've said things that got me into trouble too though, and hey we all learn from our mistakes. As for the "cancelled" thing, I'd say the majority didn't see you in the wrong, but those who did just had a misunderstanding, understandably it was all about wording. I haven't been the best at wording things either sometimes, translating thoughts in a way that doesn't appear confusing to me can me hard sometimes. I've learned to do better though based on those experiences, I can imagine it's much harder being in the spotlight as much as you've been.

But it's like I said, hang in there man. You're doing good, and you're a good guy. It's a shame you couldn't get anything done for Pixel Day, but hey you've been rolling out good updates. If you ever need a buddy to talk to, I've got your back man, hit me up anytime. You'll always have a friend in me.

There's no need to feel guilty about your success with FNF. You, Phantom Arcade, Kawai, and everyone else helping with the game deserve the success. Plus fuck Twitter, the loud minority of kids blabbering about how shit of a person everyone is are just a result of the shitty culture the site has. Most people on Newgrounds support you and love you, please remember that. We love you, mang!

somethin like funkin is something i've been dreaming would happen to NG for a long while. when we talk about funkin, I don't just see it as your cool thing, I see it as newgrounds, which I could talk about forever, baby

very well said

I hate the game, I suck at it and I don't find it fun. Haters gonna hate me for that one.

What I do love is how it's brought attention to your team. I get so pumped when someone makes something so big. You deserve all of the recognition and I hope this only makes you guys super successful from here on out. This is literally my hope for all creators. It brings such joy to me.

While I might not be interested in the game specifically, I am interested in your success and happiness. I hope you never stop, I want to hear about it it every day forever.

lov u fro teehee

I figured it'd be overwhelming as fuck for anybody not expecting it. A dedicated modding community, animation community, etc. You've really made something special.

Sorry to hear about your down time at such a pivotal time. Hang in there and good luck on the game! S'really grown on me.

whatev else happens, just keep in mind you helped revive ng. you’re doing great man, dont lose your way

It's been amazing what you've been able to do with FNF, and well, it's changing NG history. It can be a little scary thinking about it all, but at the same time, you're still an NGer, and you're one of us mate, so feel free to reach out. It's always a pleasure talking to you mate, no matter the topic.

And HOPEFULLY, a few of us can do that train trip after some other fires in the world are put out.
Cam = Fam
Love you man!

bless up appreciate u dyingsun i do gotta make a better effort of catchin up wit a few of the homies INCLUDING U MY BAD

You've done NG a great service by making good shit but still staying real through it all.
Most people usually lose theirselves once they find big success like FNF got.
I'm sorry to hear you've dealt with the curse of not wanting to talk about your own strides too, a heavy inner conscience can be a great help and also the worst advisor on the planet at the same time.
That being said, I'm sure the grand majority of people who enjoy the game and/or NG appreciate everything that you've done for both.
Keep being awesome, man.
It's rare that you find a dev who keeps being chill in stories like this.

I think people have a hard time being around someone in a higher or better position than them. It's like whenever rich people say they have problems, everyone dismisses it because they're rich. Obviously you aren't like filthy rich or anything but the sentiment still stands. People in any sort of good or better position are treated like they aren't people. I understand why people think that way, but I don't think people realize that everyone has problems. Everyone is human. The moment you talk about you success, it's almost as if people don't want to see you happy because you aren't like them. There always will be people like that in your face, trying to get to you. Maybe even some that pretend they're a fan but are actually against you. But for every single person that's against you, there are 10 on you side. Like you said, whether you can see them or not, there are people that like you. There are people that want to see you succeed.

in conclusion life is like among us, there is always an imposter

I'm going through alot and this game is helping me take my mind off things. I appreciate you and the others for making such a trill game.

there should be a therapist for successful game devs

he would ask you things like "did you use your popularity to snag a gamer gf yet? no? theres your problem"

Some people love success stories and there's no cooler ones than those that feature people you actually got to meet along the way, for others it might trigger an innate sort of "why them and not me?" reaction and they'll act accordingly. Heck they can feel both ways at the same time, i know have on different occasions over the years.

You'll get used to it,

This sort of big change in someone's life tend to be very confusing, it's kinda hard NOT to talk about the changes going on in your life, I just think that if you just spend your time how you'd like to spend it and not spend too much time overthinking things, things just kinda end up being better.

What you and your team do is great and I think it's positively affected a lot of people, and I know that you guys will continue to do funny things.

Appreciate the people you know and have fun with them, that's probably the most important thing. So keep on going on dude

You’re doing great man, and a a word of advice : a bit of a break never hurt nobody. Rock on my guy!

I'd been wondering, honestly, if it had gotten TOO popular and overwhelmed you. I was happy for you but at the same time was thinking, "Damn. I bet he'd just like to catch his breath!"
We're very proud of you here. Put your mental health and personal life above all else----ALL ELSE!!!!
We love ya!!!

Yeah, February def been the month where I been catching my breath so far. Slowly gettin used to it all, takin it easy a bit

Always happy for you dood, the reason I try to work on every game that you make is cause i just love the stuff you do and the time spent working with you. I'm glad you finally got the recognition and even more so finally made the rhythm game you deserve

With how big this game has gotten and how much work the fnf crew has put into this, a lil bragging here and there is absolutely warranted lol. Totally understand that it may feel like you're bragging too much or whatnot but I'd say most of us love talking about the game and I love seeing you guys making it big right now hehe. Hoping the rest of the year plays out well and this will be more of a positive experience for you and everyone! Also been fun getting cancelled along with you in all those call out posts lol lol sorryyyyyy (Hopefully those stop soon!)

wait are you snailpirate from those tweets????

hmmmmmm..... i guess for now i will let you comment on my posts.... but if i see you being problematic anymore..... i am going to have to consider my options........

Would you like it if I gave you big smooch? Like a big wet one? I'll make your cheek soggy for days, Cam ;)

Okay so I hitchu up in DMs to talk ya through this but basically remember the following...

All this stuff. All these internet points. IRL points. All of it. Visualize it, right. And think about this:

There's people who are always gonna be "bigger" than you, people who are always gonna be "smaller" than you. There's people who walk in on like Pico Day with 500k followers. There's people there who are millionaires. There's people there who are Tom Fulp who is like basically both.

Aint none of it actually truly matters at the end of the day.

And when we all meet up, it's just the boyz hangin out. Doesn't matter if you're a muffin or a pelo, a fulp or a squid. Doesn't matter how many views you got or nothin. As long as you keep it real, it's literally the only thing that matters.

There's people out here who DID get ostracized from the NG community but it wasn't their success that did it. It was their personality. It was that refusal to be real and act like they somethin else. That was because somethin in themselves was rotten from the get go, and they never dealt with it, and it became their identity and nobody was with it.

I know you aint gonna be that guy. You still a muffin at the end of the day. This guilt, despite it not being the right way of looking at it just yet, is a sign of something healthy that'll come later - modesty.

You a good dude, you always have been. Just keep it all in check. I know FnF is the big thing rn, but all things DO pass, for better or worse. I wanna be sure you're gonna be okay when it does, and part of that is gonna be askin yourself the big questions rn. I know you will. I know you're gonna be aight. I believe in ya, and so do all your other NG friends.

Happy Valentine's Day Cam

lov u kruno happy valentines day hehe

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