I like Newgrounds stuufff
Middle School Dropout
Joined on 10/2/15
Posted by ninjamuffin99 - September 13th, 2023
Hello everyone its my bday today!!! I have neglected putting pen to paper on some NG blogs and thoughts for a while, so here’s a blog with some thoughts!
I feel like over past year or so I’ve generally and nicely settled into proper ADULTHOOD and whatnot well. Last year I had a big handful of newgrounds refugees semi-living with me, but in October of 2022 I finally ended up LIVING ALONE for the first time since…. EVER!!! I’ve grown up with siblings, family, then once I moved out I had roommates and whatnot for a few years. It does feel like I’ve seen the other side of LIFE and INDEPENDENCE. I do find myself to be independent person, and enjoy pushing myself in ways like that. 2020 I sorta moved across the country, and now I live in big city all by myself!!! That’s old news now tho! Last autumn I went to Newgrounds office to work with Dave on FUNKIN stuff, and when I got back in October of last year was when I was FULLY ALONE in my apartment / life for the first time ever.
All my life I feel like I’ve had run ins with ANXIETY and ANXIOUSNESS, which may sound funny seeing as I do all these crazy and zany things like moving across the country bwah! But I think last October, after being ALONE I feel like I was whiplashed into this weirdo state of being stressed and anxious 24/7. In a way it all felt weird and surreal and normal or whatever, but it did get to the point where I called one of those emergency hotline things since I really didn’t know what to do or how to go about it. I don’t thiiiink it was panic attack or anything like that, but I do remember having nice chill conversation with the hotline person, and they mentioned going to the emergency room at the toronto CAMH (center for mental health), and the thought didn’t cross my mind, it didn’t FEEL like an emergency, but it was this weird moment of clarity of “huh, normal ass people really don’t deal with this”, SO I ended up going before my brain got too brokey. I think I watched Scott the Woz vids in the emergency room to calm me down heheh.
I got thru all that fuss, and the doctor man prescribed me with some yummy candy to make my brain feel better. Those took a few weeks to kick in and I’ve been feeling relatively better since then. Generally I think I’m on a pursuit to NOT BE BUSTED. There’s many things like that I still need to get sorted out in the future still. I feel like everyone online got somethin broke in their brain ADHD wise, I’ve had an itch that there can be somethin buggin wit my brain with that stuff decent chunk lately, but doh!! I gotta wait til November for little appointment stuff. Things like health can be TOO easily neglected, especially if you are USA based where you don’t get healthcare equipped when u spawn default (gaming reference). I like to HOPE that I’m becoming more mature with things like my own health and all that, not neglecting it, etc. Almost as important as paying your taxes, making sure your body and MIND are in proper working order via healthcare is something that I do hope to work towards more as my years of life go forward!!! I’ve neglected eye glasses appointment for a smidge… I forgot that I get a free eye checkup per year in Canada! I’ll treat myself to that as bday present.
I am 24 years old! To me this is abouuuut when people are finishing up college? And getting their jobs and careers together? Something like that. There’s definitely things I hope to grow into. This year at Funkin’ Crew Inc. we’ve started working with more people FULL TIME. People who work with us as a JOB, where me and Dave are the LEADERS. I don’t think me or Dave have particular insights that make us IDEAL for these roles, I think it’s something that people can grow into, we’ve definitely had our own fumbles along the way! And we will have more! I’m expected to be a co-leader with Dave but I should be interning for some dipshit tech company right now at this age bwah! Not even employee!!! Intern!!! I think da skills and exp gained from working with people off Newgrounds was VERY important in my brain development in these aspects. Every so often I do wonder what the next few years look like. Will we be battle hardened developers, able to take on any project? Will I be a GAME DEVELOPER once Funkin’ is done and out? Should I still go to college HMMMM?
Every once in a while I get the question “what will you do after FNF? FNF 2?” which I think is asked since Funkin’ is a big ambitious video game and it might seem like a big colossal task to finish. The answer I’ve had for a long time for that has been… what do musicians do once they finish an album? They make the next album! So for me that would mean MORE GAMES. Although through this year while getting our team working on the insides, and outsides of FNF, I’ve gotten a taste of more things. I’ve found hardware appealing, general SOFTWARE, web development, all of that stuff have poked at my interests and scratched itches that I feel I haven’t gotten with game development. Not to say I’d abandon video games!!! I think I’m always poking around at more THINGS TO do. Making music doesn’t take away my brain from making games, video editing, setting up Newgrounds theater don’t either! I find it all nice to expand brain. As of right now my answer (but not a promise) after Funkin’ is I think it’d be awesome to make animation software good enough to make Adobe weep. The more I use and enjoy GOOD SOFTWARE in my life… it makes me sad face when I think about Flash/Animate. In the same way that you’d create games that you wish were real, I would like to create software that I wish was real. Something as intuitive and nice to use as Flash, with no bullshit, and open source!!!! Maybe one day… my one bday wish….
I’ve lived in my apartment for about a year and a half now, which is the longest I’ve lived somewhere since about 2018-2019. The longest I’ve ever lived somewhere was probably 3 ish years max! I feel like over the past few years I’ve gotten more tastes of having a proper SETTLEMENT. The first few times I went to the Newgrounds office in Glenside, one thing I still keep with me is just simple things, like heading to the local spots that you’d probably only hit by living there for so long. Over the past year I’ve done little bit of that and gone through the various coffee shops in Toronto, since this year I’ve also got into drinking coffee, along with other local spots. Basically enjoying being a Toronto LOCAL. Back in March and July, I visited @Digimin and @snackers respectively, where they live with their family in their homes they’ve had all their lives, or at least since their childhoods! As mentioned I’ve never really had footing in any one house for too long through my life so far, so it was very refreshing visiting them, seeing the lives they’ve had with their families. Digi lives in San Jose, California and it was very beautiful for MARCH. I can see why people decide to move there. Although they fuckin mean it when they say that America was built for cars, not people. Because god damn there’s too many roads and the roads are too big!
Visiting Snackers in July, he lives in Galway, Ireland. Which had…. MOODY weather for July, gray and raining most of the week I was there. I’m not complaining though! It fit the atmosphere! I feel like I can describe it accurately as… the exact opposite as San Jose. “Downtown” Galway feels like classic Europe town like ur in some JRPG where you can just WALK around and explore the many shops. San Jose you had to fuckin fast travel bruh! Galway was very pleasant for that aspect, walking around. And along with seeing Digi’s family, seeing Snackers’ family was very DELIGHTFUL. They all have funny irish accents and it was charming. Cheers. It did remind me a lot of HOME and where I grew up. Everyone knows everyone, everyone who lives there has lived there many years and all grew up with each other, forests and greenery, fields and farms. The lakes I grew up with were replaced by the SEA. It’s also been a while since I visited my hometown, so it was very welcoming to feel like home after so long. Even back in San Fransisco / San Jose when I was visiting Digi I felt that a bit too, spring was kicking in, and compared to Toronto, there were bits of that area that I could say felt LUSH like British Columbia. And also it’s on west coast… Miss pacific standard time… Maybe my it’s all a mirage from my brain since I’ve been away from BC for so long!!!
I’m definitely still trying to find my footing in LIVING. But love to all my friends and the people around me, love to everyone on Newgrounds, love to everyone in Toronto, Glenside, San Jose, Galway, and special love to everyone in 100 Mile House, British Columbia, Canada. Love to everyone I met and spent time with during TooManyGames times, and everyone I’ve met and spent time with during Toronto Newgrounds meetup times.
With all sincerity you are all the why’s and how’s of my life and living. EVERY BIT OF IT. I hope for another year of meeting Newgrounds users, and while doing so, feeling home in some form.
Finishing this post at tim hortons from 5am-6:30am, yall want anything?
Posted by ninjamuffin99 - May 24th, 2023
A NEWGROUNDS MEETUP IN TORONTO, ONTARIO (at Christie Pits Park)
A THEATER SCREENING (15$ CAD A TICKET, at The Royal Theater on College Street)
OF A BUNCHO SELECTED NEWGROUNDS CARTOONS
ALL AGES THIS TIME!!! ANYONE IS WELCOME!!!
Will be showing things that can vary between G rated and R rated, but nothing explicit (sorry @Derpixon fans…)
The theater DOES serve alcohol though, so if you plan on drinking, you WILL be wristbanded or someshit like that!
Afterwards many people will likely filter into one of many nearby bars, so the “afterparty” WILL be 19+ (Ontario drinking age)
JULY 29TH 2023, SATURDAY
Last year’s Toronto Newgrounds meetup was pretty damn awesome, and I met a lot of friends that I still see and talk to today! This year is a bit more ambitious.
Over the past year I’ve been going to the cinema a bunch more, and it reminded me of one of the classic Newgrounds meetups / events, organized by PhantomArcade… renting out a damn theater to show a buncho cool Newgrounds cartoons…. got me damn thirstin…. so here we are…
SO this time we are going to pull up to CHRISTIE PITS PARK, which is right by Christie Station on Line 2. Have a nice little meetup, picnic type bullshit and everyone hangin around outside. THEN walk down the street for about 10 minutes (big field trip) to College Street, and we will be by THE ROYAL theatre, which we will be renting out specifically for awesome Newgrounds cartoons.
Theatre will be a TICKETED EVENT, and the tickets cost 15$ CAD, and will be available on Eventbrite. If ur broke, you can still meetup at Christie Pits park though!
The MEETUP is at Christie Pits Park in TORONTO ONTARIO CANADA. There's a subway station right next to it, and the Toronto subway is not at all complicated. It'd be near Christie Station!
The THEATER is at THE ROYAL THEATRE on College Street, in TORONTO ONTARIO CANADA. It's a bit down the street from where the meetup is happening, but hopefully no one dies of heat stroke on the way there.
(otherwise known as the people who told me they will definitely show up)
AND YOU! (and many more maybes....)
Art by @Snackers
PURCHASE TICKETS HERE
Posted by ninjamuffin99 - February 8th, 2023
its about a month in, and ur new years resolutions have either fallen apart, or ur actually still goin decent strong at them
maybe ur new years resolution is to do ONE THING, maybe it's simply go to the gym ONCE. or maybe you want to get a frontpage on Newgrounds!
although maybe your new years resolution is to journal more, do more art, learn programming, eat better!
curious to hear what people r up to this year.
personally I want to have better focus for myself for this year. FNF is work that I like to hope I take damn seriously, and for almost all of my life I have had a hard time with FOCUS. Whether it's schoolwork, chores, games. I want to get better at FOCUS this year. I want to be able to properly sit down and pay attention to something for generally long periods of time and be able to suck myself into things! I want to be able to study things more than I do, read damn books, and even play a video game other than CSGO for more than a 30 minutes. And most importantly, I want to be able to program in a more consistent way!
I don't want to self diagnose, BUT i do at least want to hunt down doctor see if I can dabble with some sorta adhd medication shenanigans, although alongside that I think it's also good to practice just general organization!
if anyone is reading this also has hard time focusing and feel like they got busted brain, I was recommended the book: ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life which I'm about halfway through.... I just keep on neglecting to finish it lol!!! GO CHECK OUT YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY OR PIRATE IT LOL!
Posted by ninjamuffin99 - November 25th, 2022
HELLO NEWGROUNDS, we need more game jams, and I put a little too much effort into game jams nowadays. I need to get back to my damn roots where I would shit out a game jam in a weekend to polish design and development skills. So this is a GAME JAM where you NEED to make a game that gets as close to a 3 STAR RATING as possible on Newgrounds.
If you’re a programmer, maybe you got some good design chops, but shitty art, try making your own art!!! If you’re an artist, maybe it’s time to try programming a small game featuring your own art style, even if it’s buggy and broken!! If you get under 3 stars, oh well, you got a game out! You get more than 3 stars, maybe you underestimated your own talents / skills!
BUT THE GOAL IS TO TRY AND GET AS CLOSE TO A 3 STAR RATING AS POSSIBLE!!!
DON’T HAVE CRAZY AMBITIONS!!!
DON’T MAKE SOMETHING THAT APPEALS TO EVERYONE!!!
MAKE SOMETHING POLARIZING, MAKE SOMETHING MEDIOCRE!!
MAKE SOMETHING FOR THE SAKE OF MAKING SOMETHING!!!
THE POINT IS TO MAKE SOMETHING OKAY ENOUGH TO GET THROUGH JUDGEMENT AND NOT BE COMPLETE SHIT, BUT ALSO YOU DON’T NEED TO REACH FOR THE STARS!!!
In other words, it’s easy to get caught up in your thoughts about things. Views, scores, ratings, favorites. This is a jam to neglect all of those thoughts. You’re not making something for views, ratings, or even for people to like it. Make a game to simply make a game. It may sound ironic, but even the 3 star rating doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re in the spirit to make a damn game, and get it out. To not be afraid of ratings and not beat yourself up about anything like that. Make SOMETHING and put it out onto the site. Make something that is worth rating 3 stars on Newgrounds. No more, no less.
MAKE A GAME THAT GETS TO 3 STAR RATING ON NEWGROUNDS AS POSSIBLE!!
November 26th to November 28th (Saturday start of day to Monday end of day, very loose, as long as u get a game out by end of monday-ish)
There will be an OPTIONAL theme. The main goal should be making a 3 star rated game, if you wanna be a psycho and start early with no theme, be my guest, but do you really want to spend more than a single weekend on a 3 star game? Lol
THE OPTIONAL THEME: WOMAN
THAT'S IT, LITERALLY WOMAN, INTERPRET ANY WAY YOU'D WANT
Collaborations are fully welcome and encouraged!! It’s always fun to make something with pals!!!
Since I’m the one callin the shots here… your game NEEDS to have public source code somewhere. Github, Google Drive, mega, i dont care where it’s hosted… just
I will give 1 year NG supporter status to five of the “most 3 star worthy” games. Up to my own personal judgement... lol!!!
TAG YOUR SUBMISSIONS WITH : 3starjam2022 or 3starjam
Posted by ninjamuffin99 - August 14th, 2022
when i went to newgrounds office back last december, i would have stayed longer than just a week, but I had a date with a woman back here in toronto. she is now my gf but that was just our second date
also me and tom saw jeff browsing reddit and im NOT LYING ABOUT THAG
Posted by ninjamuffin99 - July 22nd, 2022
Been a while since my last little UPDATE post here on Newgrounds. Of course I’ve been pretty damn busy for a while now, with nearly all my WORK FOCUS being on Friday Night Funkin’. For a while I was in mode of getting a buncho tax stuff sorted out, Kickstarter newspost writing, lawyers, biz shit, etc. List goes on for all of that. It feels like excuses and whatnot whenever mentioned. For a while it was a hard focus on that while game programming focus dwelled, but lately I’ve been dipping my toes back into programming, hopefully regaining a bit of that balance.
At the end of March / early April I visited my family back on the west coast of Canada. Right when FNF started becoming crazy hyper popular (late 2020), I moved across Canada, away from all of my family and my life, to Kitchener, Ontario. Compared to my hometown (100 Mile House, BC), Kitchener is GIANT lol. It was definitely something I had to get used to, my new life in Kitchener, and my new life online with FNF. Visiting family was good for me, I finished Avatar Last Airbender with my lil bros and that shit was yummy. But right after I regained my stamina, I hopped back into work. Sorting out FNF tax bullshit, gettin numbers, and just over a year after moving across the country, life tossed me into another MOVE.
It’s been hard to collect my thoughts, a lot of things happening all at once it feels like again. If I had more time / less responsibilities I would spend a week or so to put my brain into making a lil video game, and I really do wish I could. I find it hard to work on small projects that are outside of FNF, especially when it feels like we’re behind on work and have to play a bit of catch up. Feels like there’s higher priority work to get done than working on a dinky game for a weekend, so it’s in this perpetual thing of thinking that a new game would refresh you, but also feeling like after making a new game, you’d become exhausted.
Anyways, here are essentially a collection of things in my brain that been on my mind I decide to write about.
I think my health has been very on and off, but on a general UPWARD TREND. Beginning of 2021 I was a little ubereats freak because: 1) I now lived in a major city 2) Covid lockdowns 3) FNF money was rolling in so I could ball out like a dumbass and get ubereats and not worry about it. It wasn’t some glamorous life, was usually a rotation of either burger, shawarma, pizza, or maybe sushi if I was feeling saucy. Thinking back to those days though is filled with a little bit of DREAD however lolol. That was early FNF era. Staying up til the sun rose, and getting food delivered in one of the most stressful times in my life (so far).
It took me a long time to get out of it, ubereats became a genuine habit that was hard to break. During the “worst” of it, I remember feeling odd about making myself a bowl of oatmeal and being like “woah, I didn’t have to wait for someone to deliver this”. Before that, which was a few weeks before FNF kickstarter, I visited my family. My foster mom and her dad both told me that I looked a bit more chunky and gained a bit of weight lolol. Both of those instances were a bit of wakeup call lololol
It was really hard to snap out of it for a long time. I visited my family in August 2021, and that definitely helped. It’s the classic ass shit of hard to stop something when you don’t even see it as a problem, and for most of the spring/summer of 2021 it was just my life. September I started to cook for myself more and more, and that definitely helped get myself out of it. It started with the easiest things for myself to eat and cook, boiling shitty hotdogs, but as the month went on I baked some nice bread, made myself chilli, cooked up some tasty spinach… stuff… Along with that, whenever I wanted junk food, I would at least PHYSICALLY go to the fast food place to get stuff. UberEats is bullshit because it tempts you to order MORE FOOD if u got that ubereats pass or whatever, where you get free delivery if you order over 15$. SO that leads to ordering more food, and bigger portions, etc. etc. Tricks ur brain into eatin more!!! At the very least with going to a place physically, I had a bit more restraint, was easier to both SPEND less and EAT less. I can get a tiny ass mcdonalds burger for like 2$ instead of getting the full ass combo meal with whatever bullshit extra for 15$+!!!! I could get just a single slice of pizza for 2$ instead of ordering giant pizza for myself for 20$ or so!!!! You may be reading all of this and thinking I am a dumbass, but hey thats the life baybeeee thats the shit that no one tells you about.
When I visited my family just a few weeks ago, my foster mom told me I “looked healthier” so I’ll take that as progress.
It's hard to change mentality and habits, but it all starts with first little steps and stages. Sometimes you gotta cook hotdogs everyday for the greater good of yourself.
Since about June 2021 I’ve been going to THERAPY. It was all a bit triggered by certain aspects of FNF development during that time, and aspects of my life. I’m not too hesitant about aspects like this in my life, although I haven’t really talked about any of it with any of my friends. This is the exclusive scoop. None of it really was too jarring for me. When I was in high school I’ve been to COUNSELLING and talking about my THOUGHTS and all that, and also from some of my previous games and newsposts, I didn’t have too hard of a time OPENING UP or any of that.
So far I can definitely say it’s been positive. One is that early on it was something to get me out of the house. As mentioned, I started it in June 2021, during a time when I was still staying awake until 7AM or so, and then sleeping until 4-5PM. Working on FNF, I really can make my own schedule, but having no format for myself, it was hard to figure out something healthy. Having somewhere physical I HAD to be definitely helped get me out of the habit of being a hermit in my room for days on end. Since I woke up later in the day, there definitely could have been a streak of a few days when I didn't see sunlight at all. Nothing too dire, but it definitely was rough, and does affect you.
It’s almost always productive to talk about yourself and get your thoughts out with someone else, I think professional therapy can help with a different (and potentially more productive) INSIGHT than if you were to just talk to your close friends. It’s 100% good to have a circle of support in some form, and I think that counselling/therapy is a nice little extension to that. Not everyone has the FINANCES for that though.
I’ve moved cities. Right now I’m sorta in the process of figuring out closing things with therapist, since I can’t really make the 3hr trip from Toronto to Kitchener just for about an hours worth of therapy. And virtual therapy stuff got me snooze!!!
Here’s something that can be it’s own newspost entirely. PERSONAL FINANCE. I’ll be honest that it’s hard to know how it all works. The term CYCLE OF POVERTY is a bit applicable. I grew up generally poor-ish. When you grow up, you don’t really know any life outside of the one you have. Things like budgeting, saving, even INVESTING. Already those subjects can be difficult on their own to learn, but if you grow up with those things pretty VOID from your life entirely, it can be extra hard to pull yourself out of that situation. I got very lucky with Friday Night Funkin’ where it’s a JOB that pays well, and it’s stable (I won’t be let go anytime soon). And if we pull things off right, it maybe could even be a decent little seller when it’s all done. But that’s just one aspect of it all. That’s the JOB aspect. It doesn’t matter if you have a job where you make pennies, or if you work at some tech corp making 100k/year, if you don’t at least SOMEWHAT keep track of your money, you can fall to a life of paycheque to paycheque.
There are certain financial skills you do learn as a poor person. You do have the ability to STRETCH money. You can make a little bit of money last long. But making BIG money last is a different story. There are countless stories of people luckier than I am, LOTTERY WINNERS, who make ACTUAL millions (as opposed to FNF Kickstarter money, which is COMPANY money, not personal ninjamuffin99 bank account money). The situation is even a bit closer with athletes who lose all of their fortune, who are often young when they’re in their prime, and very similarly get a LOT of their wealth all at once. I recommend THIS article by Investopedia. One thing it mentions is the athletes who sorta ‘artificially’ stretch their money, by sorting out their own payments and paying themselves a salary of sorts (opposed to big lump sums from contracts, sponsorships, etc.).
For ourselves / FNF team, we sorta just tossed ourselves enough coin for a year’s worth of development, and then when next year rolls around, pay ourselves again. This was partly because it’s easy to just pay ourselves once, rather than on bi-weekly basis. However I do feel like for myself I might want to look into that. When you look into your bank account, and you see a large number, it becomes hard to see it long term. Off the top of your head, maybe you can nicely calculate the taxes you’d have to pay on it, maybe even how much rent per year that gets bitten out of it. But you lose sight of other things. It becomes a number that you slowly watch decrease as the year goes on. Maybe you see $10,000, just sitting there. How far does that get YOU? When you’re poor, you’re barely used to seeing $1,000 in your bank account sitting there, hell, maybe you’re barely even used to seeing $100 sitting there. A little over 2.5 years ago, I had no job/income, and every week me and my family looked forward to when we can pick up food from the food bank, and we lived like that for quite a time before that.
That was the life I knew just a few years ago, which was less than a year before Friday Night Funkin’ became successful. This section sorta calls back a bit to the UberEats section. I had a bit of poor spending habits, AND I didn’t have a life of INDULGENCES growing up, so when I got it, well, that’s what you’d call LIFESTYLE INFLATION. As mentioned earlier in newspost, I’m glad I don’t get ubereats anymore lol.
You can be raised to climb, but learning how not to fall is the real shit. I won’t be a dipshit and shill NFT’s or bitcoin or some shit, I really won’t be a chump and give ANY real financial advice. I’ll just say you should STAY VERY MINDFUL OF IT. If you’d describe yourself as POOR, you’re not only fighting the uphill battle, but you’ll be fighting to stay at the top and not fall back down again. Actually I lied here’s my advice. If you happen to stumble into a large lump sum of money, pay your debts off. Get a credit card and build credit if you don't already. If you’re smart enough, save your money for a good school or university.
Over time I feel like I’ve slowly gotten warmer to the idea of college or some shit like that, but that topic is it’s own separate post. If there is any takeaway to this post, it’s to LEARN GOOD PERSONAL FINANCE. I CANNOT GIVE ANY GOOD ADVICE BECAUSE I AM IN THE PROCESS OF DOING SO MYSELF!!!
ALSO JUST TO ASSURE PEOPLE AND FRIDAY NIGHT FUNKIN’ KICKSTARTER BACKERS, this whole personal finance situation is VERY different than the FNF biz finance side of things. That’s why it’s called PERSONAL finance! We aren’t reckless with FNF funds, it’s a bit interesting that way, but having company money in a company bank account also makes you look at things differently that way. It’s easier to feel like we can stretch that money out and handle it nicely. We pay people who do awesome work when we need to pay them, we pay our lawyers and accountants and all that, and we pay for things such as Kickstarter rewards and all that when we need to, and we pay ourselves (since that was the point of the Kickstarter in the first place). Money sits there otherwise. I think having us as a TEAM helps it out. If it was a SOLO VENTURE, it might be easier to be tempted to dip into the Funkin’ fund for personal expenditures, but having it be essentially the TEAM’S money, it’s easier to use it for the GREATER GOOD or whatever. In general though, it’s not really some devilish temptation of ours to spend a couple million on ourselves instead of making a video game, lol.